TomTomHRGuy: The 20 Worst Excuses for Coming in Late

This we forwarded to me from Workopolis and I just had to share it because it is so funny. It was written by Colleen Clarke.

Here are just some pretty lame, but true, excuses people have used for being late to work:

Employee claimed a bear stopped his car, broke his window, and tried to grab him. (This wasn’t in Toronto.)
Employee claimed a prostitute stole his car keys. (This could have been in Toronto.)
Employee claimed he couldn't find his clothes. (Probably in the dark in the NWT in winter.)
You mean the commute doesn't count as being at work?
Employee claimed his dog ate his Blackberry. (And was he waiting for it to 'resurface'?)
Employee claimed he ran over himself with the company truck.
Employee claimed he was playing a video game and didn't want to break up the group he was playing with.
Employee claimed he forgot it was a workday.
Employee claimed his car was inhabited by a hive of bees and he couldn't use the car for two hours until the bees left.
Employee claimed her cat attacked her.
Employee claimed there was a delay with public transportation and produced a note signed by "The Bus Driver." (This actually was in Toronto.)
Employee claimed that her hair just wouldn't dry.
Employee claimed his Botox appointment took longer than he expected.
Employee claimed she thought her boyfriend was going to propose, so she wanted to give him time to work up the nerve. (He didn't. They broke up shortly after.)
"In my culture, it is only 9:00 right now."
Employee claimed he knew he was already going to be late, so he figured he would go ahead and stop to get donuts for everyone. (A thoughtful chap wherever he lives who should come and work for me.)
"I had a job interview."
Employee claimed that her karma was not in sync that day. (Vancouver Island for sure.)
Employee claimed he had in fact been there all along and merely ducked out for some air. (After powering down his work station and taking his coat and bag with him.)
Employee claimed she wasn't in fact late; the company clock was wrong.